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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260580">Home to hold on to - the alternative version</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_introvert/pseuds/Eternal_introvert'>Eternal_introvert</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Station 19 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:42:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_introvert/pseuds/Eternal_introvert</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a what if, an alternative narrative for the stories we have already watched.  This is based on "home to hold on to". S03E02.  When i first saw this in 2018 i was convinced something bad was going to happen to Andy (as she was kind of forced in there against her will) so this is my take on what could have happened if Robert hadn't got her out in time.  i love writing drama and angst for Andy in case you hadn't noticed :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy Herrera/Robert Sullivan, Maya Bishop/Andy Herrera</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Not sure how many chapters yet, it was supposed to be a one parter but i got carried away.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Robert rushed to the doorway as Warren and Bishop carried the old lady away.  He heard Warren shouting to get Andy out the apartment, the massive creak signalling the floor was finally giving way. </p>
<p>“Andy!”  He heard himself shout, but he was unsure anyone else would have heard it with the large groaning and creaking that was taking place as the floor simply disappeared before his eyes.  He held on to the door frame and felt sick at the vast hole that had now appeared.  A hole where the floor and its contents had once stood.  Where Andy, who he and Maya had sent in there against her will had also been.  The mess and the dust and the debris were huge, he couldn’t get a clear look from there.</p>
<p>“Mayday, mayday, we have a Firefighter down, I repeat a Firefighter down, all personnel report to the ground floor immediately.”</p>
<p>“Captain! Where is she?”  Maya stuttered grabbing her captains arm as he tried to rush past her.</p>
<p>“She’s under the pile of rubble down there somewhere and we need to go get her out.  Now Bishop.  Move.”</p>
<p>Without thinking Maya followed her Captains orders and joined the other Firefighters that were rushing to get to the ground floor.  </p>
<p>There was pandemonium on arrival downstairs.  The rest of station 19 were already trying to find Andy, grabbing rubble and objects from the entrance to what was once the downstairs apartment and throwing it out in to the corridor, trying to make some space so they could enter.  Shouts of "Andy" and "Herrera" filled the air as they desperately tried to make contact.</p>
<p>“People.  Be careful.”  Robert commanded, “We don’t know where Herrera is in there, tread carefully, go slowly, yes it may take longer but we don’t want to injure her any more than she already is.  And call out for her one at a time and then listen, we need to be quiet to see if we hear her.  When we’re near her we will hear her pass alarm, so listen out.  Also take care we don't know how structurally sound this building is, so stay alert.  Now go, go, go, let’s find her.”</p>
<p>They didn’t need any more words of encouragement, so they set to it.  The painstakingly slow task of removing everything out of the apartment.   They set up 2 chains on either side of the door. Robert at the front of one moving items and passing them back to Montgomery who then passed it to Hughes.  Maya was at the front of the other, passing to Warren and then to Miller.  And as each item was passed it meant they could inch their way that much more in to the apartment.  </p>
<p>An hour passed which felt like much more to the station 19 members, each time they called out and got no reply their hearts sunk that little more.  Robert could literally see their heads dropping as time went on as they all knew, the longer it took the more chance that Andy was seriously injured or even worse.  And in the back of his mind and Maya's was the fact they had made her go in when she had literally said it wasn’t safe and no one should go in.</p>
<p>And suddenly when Robert himself had started to give up hope he heard it, the unmistakable sound of a pass alarm.  An alarm that signalled a Firefighter was down and not moving.  But it also signalled their location which meant they could help.</p>
<p>“Quiet!”  Robert shouted, causing everyone to still straight away. “Listen.  I can hear her pass alarm.”</p>
<p>And there it was, Maya was first to pinpoint the location and she was off climbing the rubble heading to where the sound was coming from listening to it getting louder as she got nearer her best friend.  And then they were off again, moving items and rubble, not caring that it scratched their skin and bruised their arms, Andy was close now and they were determined to get her out.</p>
<p>Little by little the alarm got louder and then Robert saw something which wasn’t rubble or part of the apartment.  It was Andy’s turnout.  Which part he wasn’t sure yet, but she was here.  They were going to get her out.</p>
<p>“Here guys, she’s here.  Let’s go carefully, but quickly.  I have her turnout here, we need to get her face free, we need to get this weight off her chest.  Keep moving.”</p>
<p>One by one they gently removed the things that were burying their friend and little by little a bit more of Andy was revealed to them.  And she was still, so very still and so very quiet.</p>
<p>“Andy babe,”  Maya spoke, keeping up a commentary of everything that they were doing, “Keep breathing for me, you’re doing amazing.  We’ll have you free in a minute.  Don’t give up on us.  Andy say something if you can hear me.  We need to know you’re okay.”</p>
<p>And then her face was free, Robert and Maya either side of her delicately removing the final pieces of rubble from around her head.  Andy’s eyes were closed.  Her face deathly pale amongst a layer of dust and grime.  Blood trickled steadily from her nose, her mouth and down the side of her face from a cut somewhere hidden by her hair.  She made no attempt to open her eyes.  She made no attempt to move.  Maya looked at Robert.</p>
<p>“Is she… is she?  I can’t.”</p>
<p>Robert understood, he knew Maya didn’t want to be the one to check if her best friend had a pulse.  With shaking hands he laid his own 2 fingers on Andy’s neck at her pulse point and waited.  She felt so cold.  It took a moment but then he felt it.  Weak and slow but it was there.</p>
<p>“Okay people, she has a pulse, not a great one but it’s there.  Let’s finish getting this off her so we can get her out of here.  Oxygen, someone pass me the oxygen now!”</p>
<p>It was seamless, station 19 were good at their job, they were even better when the life of one of their own hung in the balance.  Oxygen was on and then in minutes she was completely free.<br/>
Maya felt tears stinging her eyes as she saw her best friend before her.  Her left leg was bent at an angle that wasn’t natural, and her arm lay twisted underneath her own body.  Andy was in trouble.  This wasn’t something she was going to walk away from unscathed.</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s get her on the board.  Carefully, we don’t know what is broken but we know things are.  So we need to go carefully, but we can’t hang around, she could have internal bleeding.  Once we start we keep moving till she’s outside in the aid car on the way to hospital care.”</p>
<p>The team all nodded in agreement with Robert and crowded around Andy, each of them taking a firm but gentle hold on a part of her body so they could lift her to the back board.  Robert held her neck, he knew it was vital they kept that still, she could have broken bones in her neck and back.  </p>
<p>“After three we lift and move her to the board, 1, 2, 3.”</p>
<p>Andy groaned in a way that hurt her friends.  She was obviously conscious enough on some level to feel pain.  She gave a moan again as she was placed gently on to the board and strapped in.</p>
<p>“It’s okay Andy,”  Robert spoke, his hands still keeping her neck and head still, her head looking so tiny held between his hands, “We’ve got you, we’ll give you something for the pain in a minute.  You’re going to be okay, just hold on.”</p>
<p>Andy didn’t make anymore noise as she was carried and transferred to first the gurney and then the aid car but somewhere along the short distance with her good hand she had gripped on to Roberts hand and still held it now in the aid car.  </p>
<p>“You coming with us then captain?”  Maya asked as she attached various monitors to her unresponsive friend.</p>
<p>“Er yes, I can I guess, give you a hand if you need it.”</p>
<p>He shouted some orders at Montgomery, with the last one being, get everyone to the hospital asap.  They all needed to be there, this was their colleague and their friend and she was going to need all of their support to get through this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. hospital care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Second part even though it was going it be a one off, i enjoyed writing it so carried on.  Maybe 1 or 2 more parts after this one.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bringing back any patient who was coding was traumatic, but Maya Bishop would never forget having to try and save her best friends life with her Captain next to her in the back of the aid car.  She was in shock.  She knows Robert is too, since they passed Andy’s care over to the hospital staff at Grey Sloan, they have sat in the waiting room in silence.  Maya keeps replaying it over and over again in her head.  Andy almost died.  She might still yet.  And it was all her fault.</p>
<p>Robert gently nudged her arm with his own.</p>
<p>“You okay Bishop?”</p>
<p>She shook her head.</p>
<p>“Look I know that was tough, but you did it, we did it, we bought her back.  You saved your friends life.”</p>
<p>Maya let out a small laugh, “Robert I nearly took my friends life.  I made her go in there and she didn’t want to.”</p>
<p>“Herrera wouldn’t have gone anywhere she didn’t want to Bishop and you know that.”</p>
<p>“She said it wasn’t safe but we had her backed in to a corner, made her feel bad about the victim.  She said herself it was about to collapse, but I had to push it, I had to push her.  I wanted you to think I was a good lieutenant and that I could make good calls with risks that paid off.  But instead, I have nearly killed my best friend.  Robert you saw the state she was in.  She’s not getting up and walking out of here anytime soon.”</p>
<p>“Bishop, I know how you are feeling, I’m harbouring some of the same thoughts myself.  But Andy is a Firefighter and a hell of a good one and she knew the risks when she went in.  She wouldn’t have gone in if she hadn’t ultimately agreed with you.”</p>
<p>“Robert, I know you’re trying to make me feel better but it’s not going to work.  We both know the conversation that we had before she went in, I volunteered her to go in.  This is all on me and I don’t think I’m ever going to get the image of her lying under that rubble or coding in the back of the aid car out of my head.  I did that to her Robert.  She’s going to be in so much pain and it’s all my fault.”  </p>
<p>Maya’s voice broke as she finished her sentence and she buried her face in her hands, not caring about the loud sobs coming from her.  Robert awkwardly placed his arm around her to try and provide some comfort.  He didn’t know what else to do.  In a way he knew Maya was right, he just didn’t want to think he had played some part in hurting Andy either.  He liked her.  She was feisty, she was brave, she was a damn good Firefighter.  He just wanted her to be okay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Meredith Grey finally appeared some considerable time later, she didn’t have the best news.  The rest of station 19 were now waiting too and they all gathered around Meredith as she spoke.</p>
<p>“Firstly, I don’t have all the answers for you at the moment, Andy is in surgery, we had to take her straight down.  She has internal bleeding that we are trying to get under control.  She has broken ribs which have punctured her lung, so we’re trying to deal with that as well.  She also has a broken arm and leg.  There is also a pretty nasty head injury which we won’t know more about till she’s out of surgery.  She’s in a bad way guys and I’m not going to dress it up for you, you bought her in, you’ve seen for yourself.  We’re doing everything we can, but the ball is in Andy’s court. She needs to fight.”</p>
<p>“She will fight,” Travis said, “This is Andy, come on guys, don’t be so gloomy, there is no way that Andy isn’t going to get better.  She’ll want to hold this over our heads forever right!  Look at all the ammunition she’ll have to beat us with.”</p>
<p>Vic and Dean both smiled, grateful that Travis was trying to lighten the mood, they just hoped he was right.  Meredith waited for the silence and spoke again.</p>
<p>“Andy’s family.  Have they been contacted?  We need a next of kin.”</p>
<p>“I’ve phoned her dad, but he didn’t answer, I’ll try him again now.”  Maya said quietly, walking off to try and contact Pruitt Herrera.</p>
<p>“I’ll leave you to it for now, come and find me when Andy’s dad gets here and I’ll explain it to him.  Other than that I’ll be back when I have more news.”</p>
<p>Meredith left the Firefighters standing, mostly in shock she imagined.  Usually they were a loud, raucous bunch, but today had pretty much knocked the stuffing out of them all.</p>
<p>“What do we do now Captain?”  Vic asked, “Can we stay?”</p>
<p>“Of course we stay.  Andy needs us.  We stay until we hear she is okay.  She’ll want to see people she knows when she wakes up.”</p>
<p>4 hours later and finally Meredith appeared again, by now Pruitt Herrera was sitting with the firefighters.</p>
<p>“Hey guys, sorry it’s been so long for you all.  So straight to it, she came through the surgery, she coded on the table but we got her back.  We’re just settling her in to ICU now and then you can see her.  She has a long recovery ahead of her though, the building definitely came out of this better than Andy did.”</p>
<p>“Is she awake?”  Maya asked</p>
<p>“No.  At the moment we are keeping her in an induced coma, we want to give her body time to heal.  Her lungs, her brain. All the vital things, need a rest at the moment.  We’ll monitor overnight and then see how things are tomorrow and maybe then we’ll withdraw the sedation.  There’s no saying though that even then she will wake up, she has a taken a good hit to her head, enough in simple terms to swish everything about in there.  She needs time to settle and to heal, she’ll wake when she’s ready.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The team all stood gathered around the window where their friend lay on the other side.  There was silence.  No one knew what to say and now wasn’t the time for jokes to lighten the mood.  Andy was completely still on the bed, covered in tubes and monitors, a tube down her throat doing her breathing for her.  Various parts of her body were covered in bandages and casts and the bits that weren’t were covered with bruises or cuts.  The adrenalin of finding her and the fact her turnouts covered most of her injuries before prevented them all seeing the real damage that the fall had caused their friend.  But now they could see it all for themselves.</p>
<p>Maya couldn’t take it anymore she turned around and ran as fast as she could, if she didn’t have to see Andy like that, she could block it out and pretend it wasn’t happening.  Her flight instincts kicked in and she kept running and running without looking back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Night fell and eventually the crew of 19 slowly and reluctantly left Andy’s window.They knew there was nothing more they could do for her and she was sedated until at least the next day, so one by one they left to get some rest themselves so they could be back with Andy tomorrow. Pruitt Herrera had gone to find food in the canteen.  Only one person though refused to leave and instead he took up residence at Andy’s bedside making himself comfortable in the chair at the side of the bed.  Silence apart from the bleeping of the machines filled the room.  The rhythmic beating of Andy’s heart lulled Robert into an uneasy sleep, only to be awakened a couple of hours later by the closing of the door.  He rubbed his eyes in the darkened room and saw Maya standing nervously at the end of Andy’s bed.</p>
<p>“Bishop?  You’re back?”</p>
<p>“How is she?”</p>
<p>“Erm about the same.  She’s holding on, that’s all that matters at the minute.  I’m glad you came back, she needs you.”</p>
<p>“I think Andy would have been better off had I not been in her life at all today, so I thought the least I could do was be here now to help her through everything, whether she wants me to or not.”</p>
<p>“Of course she will want you to.  Andy isn’t going to blame you Bishop, she knows the dangers of the job just like we all do.  You need to stop focusing on blame and start focusing on helping Andy get better.  Okay?”</p>
<p>Maya nodded, she knew Robert was right, she just hoped Andy didn’t blame her, she wasn’t sure how she would handle it if she did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>24 hours slowly passed for the people of Station 19, they came in and out of the hospital all day at various times, checking in on Andy, making sure she was still okay.  Robert, Maya and Pruitt never left.  They gave updates to their colleagues and friends when they appeared, then went back to sit with Andy when they left.</p>
<p>Sometime late in the afternoon, Meredith entered Andy’s room.  </p>
<p>“Hey guys, we’re going to start removing Andy’s sedation now, so we’ll see what happens.  Like I say she may wake up pretty quickly, or she may need more time, we just don’t know what kind of trauma her brain got when she fell, we know there is nothing on the scans but it doesn’t mean she’s in the clear till she wakes up and is talking to us.”  </p>
<p>Bishop felt a tear fall down her cheek, she had been waiting for this moment but she was also terrified of this moment.  She was scared Andy wouldn't wake up and she was scared that if she did, she would blame her for what happened.  Her worst fears would be realised if Andy woke up and said aloud that she blamed her for it.  Maya didn't think she'd be able to cope with that.  She looked at Robert and he gave her a small smile of encouragement as Maya crossed her fingers and said a small prayer that her friend would be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything was dark, there was a noise to the left of her; a continuous bleep that cut right through her. Everything hurt, there so much pain, and there was something in her throat, in her mouth, choking her. And why was she hurting? Why was the pain radiating through her bones? And again, still her throat, choking. She tried to move one arm but it hurt, it was heavy, it didn't coordinate, so she tried another, it worked, it felt weird though, like it didn't belong to her, but she managed to grab at the thing in her throat that was choking her, she pulled and that hurt even more. She felt pressure on top of her hand, what was that?</p>
<p>"Hey hey Andy it's okay, just stay calm, you're in hospital, it's okay… shhh"</p>
<p>Andy's hand stilled at the soothing words, she recognised the voice but couldn't quite remember who it belonged to. She felt her hand being guided away from her mouth and then she felt someone holding it tightly between their own. Andy's eyes opened but they were unfocused trying desperately to latch on to something, where was she, what was happening? Why was it so bright? Voices all around her, she didn't know what they were saying, their faces were blurred but she couldn't focus, she couldn't concentrate, everything hurt so much. She let out a groan, she needed them to know, why wouldn't anyone stop this pain? Why were they punishing her like this? She let out another groan before she felt someones hand rubbing softly across her face. Now that felt nice, she could focus on this, soothing her over and over, she closed her eyes and let the rhythm lull her back to sleep, away from the pain.</p>
<p>Meredith came rushing in to the room.</p>
<p>"What's happening guys? I came as soon as I was paged."</p>
<p>"She woke up," Robert filled her in, "But she was in pain, she was moaning."</p>
<p>"She tried to pull the tube out as well," Pruitt Herrera informed her, "Robert had to stop her. Why is she in pain? Why is she asleep again?"</p>
<p>"Look calm down everyone, she's okay," Meredith informed them as she checked Andy over. "She's coming out of the sedation and a major trauma. She's exhausted, she will probably slip in and out of consciousness for the next few days, its to be expected. We will up her pain meds now so that she feels more comfortable next time she wakes and we'll get this ventilator off her. It's progress, it's good. Andy's recovery is a marathon not a sprint, it's going to take time."</p>
<p>"But she didn't know we were here." Maya whispered from her seat next to the bed.</p>
<p>"That's not unusual either, she's had a knock to the head and had some pretty strong sedation and pain meds on top of that, she's disorientated and in pain, it will take her a while to come back to us. Just give her time""</p>
<p>Maya nodded back, relieved. She was so scared that Andy wasn't going to wake up and now that she had she was scared that she wouldn't be the same Andy. She just needed her awake and talking then everything would be okay.</p>
<p>It was 5 hours later that Andy opened her eyes again. Her ventilator had been removed and she had an oxygen tube up her nose instead. This time Andy felt no pain on opening her eyes, she felt like she was floating, she did wonder if perhaps she'd had a heavy night out and was paying the price for it now, but why was she lying down and why were Robert and Maya and her Dad all surrounding her, staring at her?</p>
<p>"It's okay Andy, you're in hospital." Maya said gently, "You were in an accident, do you remember?"</p>
<p>Andy didn't say anything just continued to stare at Maya like she was an alien from another planet. Then another face appeared, she couldn't quite remember her name, but she liked her, she remembered that much, until she shone a light in her eyes, then she went right off the woman with no name. Andy squinted and tried to move her head but that in turn set off a chain reaction of pain from the top of her head to the bottom of her toes.</p>
<p>"Sorry Andy." Meredith said, putting her torch away. "You're still not really with us are you? Go back to sleep honey, we'll all be here when you're ready."</p>
<p>And on that Andy felt her eyes falling shut again, confused as to why there were so many people staring at her in her bedroom!</p>
<p>Andy went a full 8 hours before she opened her eyes again. Her visitors were getting worried despite Merediths reassurances. When Andy was awake they all felt better, but with her eyes closed they all worried whether she was going to come back to them at all. This time there was only Robert in the room. Pruitt had dragged an unwilling Maya to the canteen to get some food. Telling her it was for her own good and that Andy would be fine without her staring at her for half an hour.</p>
<p>This time on waking Andy immediately seemed more alert, she mumbled something incomprehensible to Robert, her eyes blinking open and closed a few times as they adjusted to the harsh light.</p>
<p>"Hey Herre…. Andy," Robert corrected himself, he didn't think now was the time for formalities and acting as Andy's boss. They were long past that stage given her condition right now. And he didn't know why but he felt completely drawn to her. He'd only known her a matter of weeks but he felt a pull towards her that he couldn't explain. Which was why he was still here with her, he knew he had gone beyond the realms of a boss right now, sitting in someones hospital room non stop for days on end was more than colleagues. Was it her friendship he craved? Or something more? He couldn't let himself think on that right now, not when Andy was staring at him with those beautiful brown eyes.</p>
<p>"You're okay Andy. I'm here. It's Robert. Are you feeling any pain?"</p>
<p>Andy gave a slight nod to her head causing herself to wince. Everywhere hurt, she couldn't explain it. What had happened? Why did everything hurt? And why was Robert staring at her like that? Was she in trouble? Had she done something wrong?</p>
<p>"Where do you hurt?" Robert interrupted her thoughts, speaking gently, whilst he pressed a button to the side of Andy's head.</p>
<p>Andy tried to say something, she really did, but it didn't come out, she felt winded, instead it was just a moan. Robert gently took hold of her hand and rubbed his thumb across it gently.</p>
<p>"It's okay, don't try to speak yet, I've called the doctor, they will give you something for the pain. You're in hospital Andy, you got injured on a call. But it's okay, you're going to be okay now."</p>
<p>Andy stared at him in confusion. Injured on a call? What call? She tried to cast her mind back but there was nothing there just a big black hole. Robert could see she was panicking, the machine to the right of her head signalled her heart rate increase and he felt her squeeze his hand harder.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey just breathe, don't panic Andy, we've got you. You're okay."</p>
<p>Meredith entered the room at that.</p>
<p>"Hey guys, hey Andy, nice to see you awake again sweetie."</p>
<p>"She's panicking, she tried to speak but she couldn't but she nodded she was in pain."</p>
<p>Meredith acknowledged Roberts words before pushing a syringe in to Andy's arm.</p>
<p>"There you go Andy, that will help with the pain. Now what's with the panicking. There's nothing to worry about okay. We are all here to help you. All you have to do is lie there and get better."</p>
<p>"What…. How…". Andy managed as the pain medication soared through her system, giving her that instant floaty feeling again, taking the edge off the pain immediately.</p>
<p>"You fell through a floor." Meredith answered, interpreting Andy's questions, her many years as a doctor providing her with skills of knowing what people were saying without even speaking. "You rescued an old lady and got her out but then the floor collapsed with you still inside."</p>
<p>Andy frowned, unable to comprehend what Meredith was telling her.</p>
<p>"You have a broken leg and arm, broken ribs, punctured lung and a head injury. You don't do anything by halves do you girl?" Meredith smiled down at the young woman in front of her who was still frowning. "It's okay, you probably don't remember any of it, you hit your head, you most likely have amnesia. Also in traumatic events, our brains block out what it doesn't want us to remember, helps us deal with things without freaking out. You might remember bits and pieces, you might not. Either way, we'll help you piece everything together."</p>
<p>"I… I have to… go to work." Andy mumbled out, looking at Robert to understand her and he smiled back.</p>
<p>Robert was smiling at her. What was going on? This wasn't normal behavior. She was only used to Robert being grumpy.</p>
<p>"You aren't going to work for a while Andy," Robert said gently. "You've got to get better first."</p>
<p>"You… you will be mad."</p>
<p>Robert gave a nervous laugh, looking from Meredith to Andy.</p>
<p>"I'm not that bad am I? In fact don't answer that. Andy, I won't be mad, you take as much time off to get better as you need. All I care about… Well all I care about is that you're going to be okay."</p>
<p>"Do you remember anything Andy about what happened?" Meredith interrupted.</p>
<p>"No… I feel like… I have a really… big hangover."</p>
<p>Robert and Meredith both laughed,</p>
<p>"Sorry honey, I wish that's all it was. I'm going to go now and see some other patients, Robert just press the button again if you need me and Andy, you just rest, no thinking about work or trying to do too much else you'll have me to deal with." With a quick smile Meredith was gone.</p>
<p>"She's… bossy." Andy croaked out.</p>
<p>Robert laughed, happy to see that the Andy they all knew was still in that battered body somewhere.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya and Pruitt returned to the room to see Andy awake and alert, Robert had been filling Andy in on the latest going ons at station 19, she had listened intently, Robert wasn’t sure if she was taking all that much in, he knew she had a high amount of pain meds in her system and a head injury on top he was just glad that she was awake and not in pain for the moment.  He held her hand whilst they spoke, a fact that wasn’t lost on him, but as the others returned he quickly pulled his hand away from hers, she glanced at him as he did, her eyes questioning his decision although her mind not quite with it enough to raise the issue.</p>
<p>“Oh Mija you’re awake.” Pruitt exclaimed hurrying in to the room and grabbing the hand that Robert had only just released.  “Oh gracias, mija you’re okay.”</p>
<p>“Hi Dad.”  Andy smiled before turning her gaze to Maya, “Hi Maya.”</p>
<p>“Andy,  I… I’m glad you’re awake, you had us all so worried.”</p>
<p>“I’m okay… they gave me good pain meds.”</p>
<p>Robert and Pruitt laughed but Maya was upset by the comment.</p>
<p>“Are you, are you in a lot of pain?”</p>
<p>“I’m… well it hurts a bit… not now though.”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>Andy look confused</p>
<p>“What for?”</p>
<p>Pruitt shook his head at Maya and Robert moved closer to her his hands held up in a stand off position.</p>
<p>“Bishop, now isn’t the time, Andy has only just woken up.  She doesn’t remember the accident at all.  We need to take it slowly so we don’t jumble her memories or upset her.”</p>
<p>“Captain, I hear you but I need Andy to know how sorry I am.”</p>
<p>“Bishop, you are trying to relieve your own guilt and now is not the time.”</p>
<p>Maya shot Robert a look before turning her attention back to Andy.</p>
<p>“Andy I’m so sorry, it’s my fault you got hurt.  I made you go in to the apartment, you didn’t want to go in but Captain asked me what I thought even though you said it wasn’t safe and I told him that someone should go in and it should be you as you are the lightest.  I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“I don’t understand.”  Andy said bewildered by Mayas outburst, her gaze moving between the 3 people in her room. “Made me go in where?  What?”</p>
<p>“It was an apartment about to collapse and there was an old woman trapped inside and you said it wasn’t safe and that we should wait for the structural engineers before going in but captain asked what I thought and I said that you should go in, that we didn’t have time to wait,  I was stupid.  I was trying to impress and I didn’t think about the consequences.  Hell Andy I’m so sorry, if I thought for one minute that it was going to collapse I wouldn’t have let you anywhere near there.  I didn’t think though, I just switched in to lieutenant mode and thought of you as an asset rather than a person, rather than my friend.”</p>
<p>The room was silent as Andy took in what Maya had said to her.</p>
<p>“I’m… I… I want everyone to go… my head hurts and I just want to go to sleep.”</p>
<p>“Andy no, please don’t push me away.”</p>
<p>“I’m not, it’s just a lot to take in.  I don’t feel well and I just want to be alone for a bit.”</p>
<p>“Andy…”</p>
<p>“Maya, I’m not mad at you.  I don’t remember what happened and if what you say is true well, that’s okay.  You didn’t know what was going to happen.  Honestly I’m just really wiped out.”</p>
<p>The three shuffled out of the room, after saying their goodbyes to Andy, leaving her alone for the first time.  Andy looked down at her own battered and bruised body and felt a tear roll down her cheek.  She was going to be out of action for ages, having to rely on people and she hated that.  She didn’t like to be dependant on anyone.  She felt a sob escape from her as she tried to turn over and found that she couldn’t move with the pain in her broken ribs.  She banged her good hand angrily on the bed and cried until she fell into a restless sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Three hours later:</p>
<p>Andy gasped and suddenly opened her eyes, startling Robert who sat reading the paper besides her bed.  Tears began streaming down her face and she was grasping around for something to hold on to.  Robert took her hand in between his own.</p>
<p>“Hey, hey what’s all this about?  Andy look at me, you’re okay.”</p>
<p>Andy made eye contact with Robert the tears still falling as she took big gasps of air.</p>
<p>“I fell, I was underneath the rubble, I couldn’t get out.”</p>
<p>“Oh Andy.”  Robert soothed, gently removing the tears from her cheeks with his thumb, “It’s okay, you’re safe now.  Nothing can hurt you in here I promise, I won’t let it.”</p>
<p>“But I couldn’t breathe and no one came.  Why did you leave me there?”</p>
<p>Roberts heart broke at these words,</p>
<p>“We didn’t leave you there, we just had to find you first.”</p>
<p>“I remember darkness all around… I was so scared.  Robert I don’t want to remember any more.”</p>
<p>“Come here.”  Robert said sitting carefully on the edge of the bed before leaning forward and wrapping Andy in his arms.  It was difficult for her to move with her injured ribs but Robert did all the work.  She was stiff at first but he soon felt her relax in to his chest, he could feel her heart beating against his own. “We would never leave you, never give up.  We would carry on forever until we found you.  I promise, as your Captain and your friend I will do everything in my power so that you never get hurt again.”</p>
<p>“You can’t keep that promise.”  Andy said pulling away from him, but remaining close.</p>
<p>“I know I can’t, but I can promise to try and keep you safe, do everything I can so that you don’t have to suffer like this again.”</p>
<p>He gently used his hand to wipe some of the tears that remained on Andy’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“Can I ask you something Captain?”</p>
<p>“Andy, I think we’ve crossed the lines of calling me captain.  You’re lying here in a hospital bed and I’m wiping your tears because of your nightmare.  I think Robert would be more fitting.”</p>
<p>Andy smiled and grabbed on to Roberts hand moving it from her cheek to her lap.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Robert.  Thats weird.”  She gave a small sniff.  “So anyway, I don’t understand what this is.  I mean like you here, always being here and helping me, comforting me.  You hate me.”</p>
<p>“What?  I don’t hate you Andy.  Why do you think that?”</p>
<p>“Er because since you became our Captain you have had it in for me, Maya was your golden child and I was treated like the naughty kid at school.  You told me enough times that I wasn’t good enough and I wasn’t anything special.  All I did was mess up in front of you and give you reason to hate me more.  And now well you’re here more than anyone and you’re actually nice to me.”</p>
<p>Robert smiled, unsure how to answer Andy without going in depth with his feelings for her and hell he hadn’t figured those out himself yet.</p>
<p>“Andy I don’t hate you… in fact it’s the opposite.  I was hard on you because you have so much potential.  All of the team look up to you.  You’re the most passionate about the job.  It’s in your blood and it shows.  I just wanted to push you so that you could become the best.  I didn’t want you to get complacent and feel like you were entitled to everything, I wanted you to work for it and then see the rewards.  You’re a brilliant firefighter Andy, I just wanted the best for you.  I probably went about it the wrong way.  I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or that I hated you.  I don’t hate you.  I like you Andy.  Hence why I have chosen to sit in what feels like a prison cell with a bleeping machine for the last who knows how many days.”</p>
<p>Andy smiled.  “Thank you.  For being here I mean and I’m glad that you don’t hate me.  You being here has helped me, my Dad, he makes too much fuss and makes me feel worse and Maya, well, I can’t cope with Mayas guilt at the moment, it’s too much.  But you, you just come here and you don’t want anything from me.”</p>
<p>“I kind of do though.”</p>
<p>“You do?  What do you want?”</p>
<p>“I want your pudding that the nurse left for you while you were sleeping.”</p>
<p>Robert looked at Andy with a serious face whilst Andy laughed.  She picked up the spoon from the dish and flicked a small amount of cake at him, Robert caught it in his mouth and munched on it.</p>
<p>“Perfect.”</p>
<p>Andy smiled back while Robert couldn’t get the thought out of his head that Andy was indeed perfect in every single way.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>3 days passed by and Andy was restless. Her concussion had worn off and she was now awake more than asleep and she was getting bored. She couldn't cope with lying still and not doing anything. She had tried more than once to sit up and get out of bed but she couldn't. Having 2 limbs in casts kind of restricted everything she wanted to do and if that didn't then the pain did. Her ribs were constantly niggling at her and any movement felt like she was being stabbed repeatedly. She was down right fed up. To top it off she hadn't seen many people for the past 24 hours as they had all been on shift. She had been left with her Dad making small talk and bringing his model fire engines in for him to build at the bottom of her bed. She had officially had enough and was in a bad mood.</p>
<p>So when the physio arrived to help her sit up and move her injured limbs about she was not impressed.</p>
<p>Robert entered the room just as she unleashed a string of expletives as she sat upright for the first time with her legs over the side of the bed, one stuck out straight in its cast.</p>
<p>"Is now a bad time?" He joked as he entered, "Or is this how you always greet your visitors?"</p>
<p>Andy said nothing but hit him with a stare so hard he swore she could see into his brain.</p>
<p>"Right, not in the mood for jokes. Noted."</p>
<p>The physio laughed. "I'm afraid I may not have helped Andy's mood. She's feeling a little low today aren't you?"</p>
<p>"I wasn't till you came in prodding and poking me and causing me pain."</p>
<p>"I've already explained, we can't just leave you lying here because then when you do try to move it would be even worse. You need to keep everything moving and then your recovery will be so much easier."</p>
<p>"I just want to lie down and sleep."</p>
<p>"And you can, when we're done. We nearly are now for today."</p>
<p>"Can I make a suggestion?" Robert asked gently, "How about while Andy is up, we get her a wheelchair and I take her for a walk? Just around the hospital of course. Just for a change of scenery."</p>
<p>"I think that would be a great idea, I'll run it past her doctor and grab a wheelchair. I'll be right back. If you could just keep an eye while I'm gone, it's her first time sitting up unaided so I don't want her getting dizzy sat here."</p>
<p>Robert took the physios place as he hurried off and away from Andy's foul mood.</p>
<p>"Wow," Andy mumbled, "Way to talk over someone, do I even get a say?"</p>
<p>"Hey, what's wrong? Don't you want to get out of here for a bit, it's been a week stuck in here now you must be going stir crazy."</p>
<p>"What I want is to be treated like a person again who can make her own decisions, just because I can't do some of the things I used to do at the moment doesn't mean I can't decide for myself. When I said I wanted to sleep, I meant it and instead, he marches in here and makes me do things I don't want to do and then the both of you… the both of you…". Andy's voice broke and she turned away to try to hide her tears from Robert.</p>
<p>"Andy, what's wrong? Come here." He pulled Andy into his chest, she tried to resist at first but eventually she allowed herself to be held firmly between his arms and as much as she tried not to she openly sobbed in to his chest.</p>
<p>A few minutes passed and the sobs eventually subsided so Robert carefully sat on the bed next to Andy, keeping his arm wrapped around her shoulders.</p>
<p>"You want to tell me what's really going on?"</p>
<p>She shook her head in answer back.</p>
<p>"Come on Andy, you know you can talk to me."</p>
<p>"I'm just… It's just… I've had enough, I'm just stuck in here and I want to go home and I want to go work and I want to see people again and not eat hospital food and not be reliant on anyone. I can't even go to the Goddam toilet on my own. I'm just tired of it all."</p>
<p>"I know, I can imagine how awful it is, but it won't be for much longer, they'll allow you home soon and then it won't be so bad and soon enough you'll be back at work and you'll wish you could be lying down again for a rest."</p>
<p>"I'm so lonely though Robert, you haven't been in and the guys have work and their own lives and my Dad well he tries his best, but if I have to watch him put together one more part of his model fire engine I swear to God I'm going to end up sticking it somewhere he'll never be able to get back."</p>
<p>Robert laughed before slowly picking up Andy's uninjured hand in his own free one.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I havent been in as much the last couple of day's, work gets in the way. I came as soon as I could. I have missed seeing you as well you know."</p>
<p>"You have?"</p>
<p>"Yep, more than I thought I would."</p>
<p>Robert allowed himself to make eye contact with Andy and found himself staring into her beautiful brown eyes. Suddenly the power of speech escaped him and all he wanted to do was kiss her.</p>
<p>Right until the physio came bundling back in through the door, dragging the wheelchair behind him.</p>
<p>"Right all sorted. Half an hour tops, on hospital ground only and don't allow her out of this wheelchair."</p>
<p>The moment between them was gone and instead Robert could see Andy's rage had reappeared. The physio choosing to tell Robert what to do instead of addressing his words to her. Robert knew then that it was best to get her away from there quickly before Andy had chance to tell the physio what she really thought!</p>
<p>The walk seemed to improve Andy's mood and feeling the sunshine and warmth hit her face as he pushed her across the hospital gardens definitely helped.</p>
<p>"This feels amazing." Andy breathed out, letting her head lie back and the sun rays soak into her face.</p>
<p>Robert manoeuvred the chair until it was next to a bench and he sat down next to her. She remained with her head tilted back and her eyes closed. Robert found he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He hadn't felt feelings like this since his wife, but even then it was different. This had hit him like a ton of bricks, one minute she was just a beautiful woman who happened to be his Lieutenant, who was really good at her job and the next when he was faced with the prospect of losing her she suddenly became all he could think about. She was on his mind constantly, she was even in his dreams now. He just wanted to protect her and to love her and to hold her. He snapped out of his daydream to find Andy had opened her eyes and was staring back at him.</p>
<p>"You okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, course I am. Just enjoying the view."</p>
<p>Andy gave him a strange look, "The view? Of the hospital? Yeah it's truly beautiful."</p>
<p>She let out a small giggle and Robert smiled back</p>
<p>"Caught out wasn't I?"</p>
<p>"You were daydreaming. It's allowed you know. Anything nice?"</p>
<p>"Yes. Actually. You."</p>
<p>"Oh really?" Andy grinned, "Tell me more."</p>
<p>"Just how we've become close since your accident and how quickly we have become good friends."</p>
<p>"Ah yeah, we have. It's nice. You really have kept me sane in this place. I don't know what I would have done without you."</p>
<p>"Good job you didn't have to find out then isn't it?"</p>
<p>"For sure, who'd have thought you and Maya conspiring to send me to near death would have resulted in our friendship."</p>
<p>Robert tilted his head, "Do you really think that? That me and Maya conspired and sent you in? Because that's not what happened. We would never. I would never. And we are both so sorry."</p>
<p>Andy laughed and squeezed Roberts knee, "I was joking, don't go all Maya on me and start feeling guilty, It was an accident. It was just meant to be, if not that then I could have got run over by a car going home after shift or who knows. Things happen and more to us than anyone else as we put ourselves in crazy, dangerous situations all the time. Plus I mean we got to be friends out of it so it wasn't all bad."</p>
<p>"Yeah I guess so, otherwise you'd have continued believing that I hated you."</p>
<p>"I still believe that."</p>
<p>Robert narrowed his eyes at Andy.</p>
<p>"Miss Herrera, you are walking a fine line at the minute."</p>
<p>Andy laughed, "If we're going for formalities now, Captain Sullivan you know you love me really."</p>
<p>"I do."</p>
<p>Andy's laugh froze at Roberts words, he said nothing more but continued looking at her. She opened and closed her mouth a few times at a loss for words, reminding herself of a fish out of Finding Nemo which she had Maya had drunk watched one night, giggling their way through the film and a couple of bottles of wine. Eventually the power of speech returned.</p>
<p>"You… You love me?"</p>
<p>Robert said nothing, but leaned across and kissed her gently on the lips. Andy eventually remembered what her part in this was supposed to be and began kissing him back, a million thoughts racing through her head. Eventually they both pulled apart, Andy panting slightly more than Robert, her injured lung affecting her kissing powers as well it seemed.</p>
<p>"I guess that answered my question." She breathed out, trying to catch her breath.</p>
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